So I know that I have really sucked at updating this blog. I've stated before that this blog is helpful for me in that it allows me to reflect without it feeling forced or fake (like it does in a journal entry). Without blogging I lose both the accountability for my actions and the insight gained in critical examination of an entry after the fact. I know that many of you have gained something from reading this, which makes me feel even worse about not blogging.
Yet lately I've struggled with figuring out what to write. In a semi catatonic depressed state I usually just lie there and pretend to be asleep. So I haven't written, and I have no idea what thoughts or emotion accompany the times problems arise. The result is being left in Toar's office expressing sadness and hopelessness and having no idea why.
There are more reasons lately that I haven't updated. Another is that some thoughts and emotions have caused me a lot of shame. I know it seems odd- I've been (sometimes brutally) honest about situations that most would never dream of sharing. I am hopeful that these recent issues will come to light in future entries, but not now.
So you may be wondering why my title is "you will feel better after". It has been my mantra of late, forcing me out of bed and out of the house to ride my bike, meet up with people....basically to do things that will ultimately be healing. Since I feel weak and unmotivated for a majority of the time, I have to repeat this several times. It is a very different perspective, as usually my mantra to get things done is "you SHOULD do this". This places the emphasis on what I want instead of some kind of perceived duty. Not easy guys, but I'm trying. This is also what I told myself this morning to make me blog (along with a gentle reminder from a lovely reader).
So what I thought I'd do for now is this: I make a meal plan for every day, ensuring I get the proper amount/types of food each day. I have struggled with following it, and have stopped sharing them with Toar because I am ashamed at this failure. So I'm going to give them to you to look at. Hopefully it will give a good insight into what proper nutrition is and will increase my accountability to my plan. I'm hoping that it will help me be successful (and hope it will help you too!).
Oh, and if you're wondering what this is based on, it is a vegan meal plan created with the help of Canada's food guide. Enjoy!
Oh, the little add in's (IE: "eaten earlier" mean that I had experienced a semi binge earlier in the day. The plan is written the previous evening with every intention of following it to the t. It sadly, rarely happens that way and I'll binge on things I planned to eat later in the day (thus making much of the "times eaten" column irrelevant). However, this will give you an idea of both my intentions and my slips.
Peace, Love and Veggies,
Alex
| Meal | Time | Food Groups | Food Selection |
| Breakfast | 8:00 | 2 grains, 1 protein, 2 fruits, ½ milk alternatives | 2 pieces of cinnamon raisin toast with 2 tbsp almond/hazelnut butter,1 ½ cups diced watermelon, coffee with ½ cup almond milk |
| Snack | 10:00 | 3 fruits, 1 milk alternative | Smoothie with ½ cup each of frozen mango, strawberries and banana and 1 cup almond milk |
| Lunch | 12:00 | 2 veggies, 2 grain | Pesto taboulle salad, PB sandwich crackers (crackers eaten early) |
| Snack | 3:00 | 1 grain | Whole grain carrot muffin (eaten earlier) |
| Dinner | 6:30 | 1 grain, 1 protein, 1 veggie, ½ mik alternative | Seitan pot pie and 1 cup carrot soup, coffee with ½ cup almond milk |
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