someday

Hello guys,

I've been meaning to write an entry about this for a while but have never gotten around to it. I guess that's because when I am in writing mode I usually have a topic to cover immediately, and if I'm not in the mood I just won't write, so I don't do the stuff I planned to blog about earlier.

Anyways, please go to this site and click on "media" (after the intro is done).

http://somedaymelissa.com/

For those of you who don't have the time to look at the website or view the trailer, it's a documentary in the making created by a mother who lost her 19 year old daughter (Melissa) to an eating disorder. After Melissa died her mother found her journal. One entry said this:

Someday...

I'll eat breakfast

I'll keep a job for more than 3 weeks

I'll have a boyfriend for more than 10 days

I'll love someone

I'll travel wherever I want

I'll make my family proud

I'll make a movie that will change lives

-August 2008

To make Melissa's last wish come true, her mum started this documentary. I look forward to it's completion because we need to show people who ED sufferers really are. How despite our struggles we still have hope. How much it tortures you physically and emotionally. What it also made me think about was my one list of "someday..."s.

Somedays aren't as much goals they are an expression of hope, Belief that things will get better, and that you will accomplish your dreams.

Some people would reject this, saying that you should put your mind to doing these things instead of just wishing for them. However, if you're going through turmoil, you simply live day to day and don't even think about the future. So for myself, "someday" is the very best I can do. I know that these things won't happen today, but they will someday.

Anyways, I've decided to make mine. I'm going to try to give 100, cause I know there are many.

Someday...

I will eat food and not numbers

I will hear people laugh and not assume they're laughing at me

I will look at the clock and not think "how many hours until___" but instead "This is fun and I don't want it to be over"

I will get really, really excited about something

I will dye my hair purple

I will be able to tell someone when they have hurt me

I will look back on the year on Class Afloat and not think of it as an experience wasted, but rather an atypical experience that will help me better understand people who are suffering

I will not need 8 different prescription medications to function every day

I will let people watch me dance

I will let people hear me sing (they probably won't want to, but I won't care)

I will see a platypus in it's natural environment

I will spend more time thinking about living instead of dying

I will find someone who I love and trust completely

I will be more proud of my strengths then I am ashamed of my weaknesses

I will not own a scale

I will be a mother

I will not fit any of the diagnoses in the DSM

I will chain myself to a tree to protect a forest from a logging company

My mum will not have to worry about me

I will get my BSW

I will not need any more eye surgeries

I will be able to sleep without pills

I will go to a party and be happy to be there

I will go to a yoga class and not compare myself to everyone there, but instead enjoy what it can do for my body and soul

I will write books that inspire people to make the world better

I will be a kick ass social worker

I will take more risks

I will not be as afraid of mistakes

I will adopt a dog

or two

I will bike from Ottawa to Montreal, heck maybe even across Canada

I will not keep a razor blade in my closet "just in case"I need to resort to cutting again

I will live in BC and enjoy the natural beauty

I will do whatever I can to end oppression, hunger, suffering, pollution....ultimately whatever it takes to make this world as good as it can be

I will be free from what is holding me back

I will meet someone in so much distress that they want to end their lives and tell them it does get better, and have them believe it

I will believe it too