It's been a busy day today. Maybe not in most peoples eyes, but after a long year of dreariness it seems so fast paced. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy it. However, I struggle with finding time to sit and relax without feeling guilty, feeling like I "should" be doing something productive....then I remind myself that being "productive" is too capitalist a value for me and that makes me feel a bit better.
Despite a lot of stress and frustration, right now I'm filled with a profound sense of gratitude. It's only been my second day in my placement, and I only logged three hours cause I had to attend a seminar that morning. However, I am feeling so much admiration for the women I'm working with and feel so lucky to be studying what I'm studying, and eventually working in the field. I know I probably seem like I'm romanticizing an often grueling profession, but I can't help but be inspired. You see people at some of the worst circumstances life has to offer and you offer yourself to them. You can dress up with degrees and experience, but what you can give is it ultimately within yourself. Where else do you have that opportunity?
I feel lucky.
Please excuse the rambles, I hope I'm making a shred of sense. I also wanted to briefly mention that I'm avoiding discussion of anything that could breach client confidentiality. It's difficult, as I attempt to be as honest as I can. For me, every person I encounter alters how I perceive myself and the rest of the world. So how do I be completely honest about myself without showing that? I am trying.
Obviously no names, no specific places, and no specific "stories" involving clients. That's a hard one, as I love sharing experiences. I will however, share my feelings and thoughts that arise from these experiences. They will always connect to some aspect of my own life, which you all know I expose pretty openly.
Peace, Love and Veggies,
Alex
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